Multiplicity and Unity in the blessings before the Shema - and Tisha B'Av

 A couple of thoughts from davening this morning:

1. Tallis gadol and tefillin will not be worn at Shacharit tomorrow for Tisha B'Av but at Mincha. I have written before about how the act of gathering the tzitzis from the four corners of the tallis gadol near the end of the second blessing before the Shema and holding them together while reciting the Shema is very meaningful for me, because I feel myself integrating the different parts of myself into one whole that is an image and likeness of the Oneness of G!d that we proclaim in the Shema. I wonder if not being able to do this tomorrow morning will intensify the feeling of destruction and alienation of Tisha B'Av - that, just as we don't have the Beis HaMikdash to connect us to G!d - so we don't have tefillin and tallis gadol either, at least for Shacharit. I will report back (likely on Friday) whether this intuition proves correct.

2. The first blessing begins with a misquote of Isaiah 45:7, talking about G!d's creation of both light and dark, and peace/wholeness and evil (in Isaiah)/everything (in the prayer). We say with the seraphim from Isaiah's vision in Isaiah 6, "Kadosh, kadosh, kadosh" - and the seraphim have six wings. We say with the voice Ezekiel heard, "Blessed is the glory of G!d from its Place" - and the voice is accompanied by the sound of the four wings each of the chayot that he saw in the first chapter. And the blessing ends with the chatimah blessing G!d for creating the Lights - of which there are two great ones, in Genesis 1 - the sun and the moon. Six, four, and two - in contrast to G!d being One. The blessing seems to go out of its way to emphasize the multiplicity of creation in contrast to the Oneness of G!d. And then, in the second blessing, we pray to be gathered from the four corners of the earth - and it ends blessing G!d for blessing the people Israel with love - ahavah - which has the same gematria (13) as One - echad (also 13).

My thoughts during davening today.

Tefillin, Patriarchs, and the Nine Days

 

Pannullo, Tommie Spain

Over the past couple of years, I've internalized the sequence of the seven patriarchs associated with the seven lower sefirot - Avraham/Chesed, Yitzchok/Gevurah, Yaakov/Tiferet, Moshe/Netzach, Aharon/Hod, Yosef/Yesod, and David/Malchut - and I tend to think of them whenever a sequence of seven comes up, for example, in the Amidah. *

Over the past couple of years, I've internalized the sequence of the seven patriarchs associated with the seven lower sefirot - Avraham/Chesed, Yitzchok/Gevurah, Yaakov/Tiferet, Moshe/Netzach, Aharon/Hod, Yosef/Yesod, and David/Malchut - and I tend to think of them whenever a sequence of seven comes up, for example, in the Amidah. *

Since I've become Jewish and started wrapping tefillin, I have silently in my mind gone through the list of patriarchs as I wrap seven times around my arm, a name with each wrapping, as a way of counting but in a more mindful and spiritually resonant way.

Today, as I did so, the signficant losses each patriarch experienced loomed large in my mind- Avraham losing Hagar, Yishmael, almost sacrificing Yitzchok, and Sarah; Yitzchok almost being sacrificed and experiencing the heartache associated with his sons; Yaakov fleeing his home, losing Leah and Rachel, and being separated from Yosef; Moshe not being able to go into the Promised Land; Aharon losing Nadav and Abihu and not being able to mourn; Yosef being betrayed by his brothers and falsely imprisoned; and David losing Yonatan and Avshalom. (This list is not comprehensive.

And this experience immersed my more deeply in the Nine Days.

* I realize that this is a very masculine association - several proposals have been made to associate matriarchs with the sefirot, but it is not unifor. The one that resonates with me is Tamar - since my Hebrew name is Tomer Yitzchok - and she is associated with Yosef and Yesod - Yosef is the only man in the Torah described as HaTzadik - the Righteous - and Yehudah says that Tamar is tzadkah mimeni - more righteous than I. I think that those wanting to adopt this practice with matriarchs will likely find the practice revealing great insight.

Gathering the tzitzis from the four corners of the tallis

 

I have had the experience, since conversion, when gathering the four tzitzis together at v’havienu l’shalom me-arba kanfot ha-aretz, of feeling like I was gathering the disparate parts of myself into one, like the One in whose image and likeness every human being was created, whose Oneness is proclaimed in the Shema shortly after. The Shalom into which these are gathered is the oneness/wholeness/peace of G!d.

Today, as I was davening, I had an additional thought building on this. First, perhaps the four tzitzis/corners of the earth are the four levels of the soul – nefesh, ruach, neshama, chaya – that are being gathered as one to unite with G!d in the yechidah, the fifth level of the soul in the Shema. I know the four levels of the soul correlate with the four parts of Shacharit – brachot/korbanot, psukei d/zimra, Shema, and Amidah. So maybe they are also being gathered together in preparation for the Amidah.

And since I see the Amidah as a roadmap for a spiritual journey toward wholeness, maybe there is something about this inner self-unity that needs to begin before we are ready for the Amidah, for this journey. Of course, this coming together is referenced again in the very middle blessing of the weekday Amidah – ve’kabtzenu yachad me-arba kanfot ha-aretz. And maybe the Shalom of Ahavat Rabbah and the Yachad of Mekabetz Nidchei Amo Yisrael are the same thing, perhaps on different levels.

I’m sure others have drawn similar conclusions – but it is to these realizations that this embodied experience of Jewish prayer leads me.

Rosh Chodesh Av

 יוֹצֵ֥ר אוֹר֙ וּבוֹרֵ֣א חֹ֔שֶׁךְ עֹשֶׂ֥ה שָׁל֖וֹם וּב֣וֹרֵא רָ֑ע אֲנִ֥י ה' עֹשֶׂ֥ה כׇל־אֵֽלֶּה׃

I form the light, and create darkness; I make peace, and create separation; I am the LORD, that doeth all these things. (Isaiah 45:7)

Chodesh Menachem Av Tov!

May we be zocheh to have all inauthenticity stripped and washed away so we may come face to face with the mourning we need to do in this time of sadness, so that we can move from the darkness of the pain of separation - from ourselves, from others, from G!d - to the light of shalom/peace/wholeness - from Tisha B'Av to Tu B'Av.

Wrapping Tefillin and the Thirteen Attributes

I had a realization about wrapping tefillin today - probably not the first person to notice this, but here goes.

One wraps the tefillin strap around one's forearm seven times. This creates 13 bands - the 7 strap indentations and the six bands between them. This correlates, in my mind, to the Thirteen Attributes of G!d - both the essential attributes in Exodus 34 and the Supernal Attributes in Micah 7:18-20. There are also thirteen blessings specific to the weekday Amidah (between the three opening blessings and three closing blessings always said) - which I also think of as correlating to the Thirteen Attributes.

So not only are the tefillin shel yad a sign on one's hand/arm - so are the marks left behind, serving as a sign of the Thirteen Attributes of the G!d we serve and which we are to emulate, being made in the likeness and image of G!d.

Isaac's Pet Donkey - How He Left His Father and Started a New Life

It might be helpful to familiarize yourself with the Akedah, Genesis 22:1-19, and the G'vurot blessing in the Amidah prayer in the Jewish liturgy prior to reading this.

In the Akedah, Abraham left the two lads with the donkey – the chomer – as he took Isaac off to be sacrificed. He returned to the two lads without Isaac – and they were there without the donkey. The donkey – the chamor – is chumra – stringency – and Abraham had saddled his donkey – his stringency – to be able to murder his son in the service of G!d. But he left the donkey – his stringency – behind to take Isaac up the mountain – and was able to hear the rachmanes – the mercy – of Hashem telling him not to murder his son. But Isaac was able to hear the call of G!d to take up the chamor – his chumra – his stringency – for himself - and left without Abraham, first getting the donkey and riding it off to the next chapter of his life.

It was only by adopting and riding the donkey that Isaac was able to leave the abusive situation he was in and find his own relationship with G!d – ultimately being able, when he went out into the field to meditate – and daven Mincha – that he was able to look up and see camels, gemalim – gemilut chasadim – acts of lovingkindness. 

May we find the gevurah – the strength – to adopt the chumras – the stringencies – that make space for meditating in the field and looking up to see the gemilut chasadim – acts of lovingkindness – we can do – lifting up the fallen, healing the sick, freeing the captives – to be like G!d.

Pinchas

No commerce on Shabbat - we accept the innate perfection within the world.

No commerce (insofar as is possible) during the Three Weeks - we accept the brokenness of the world.

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In this week's parshah, we have the brit shalom with the broken vav (broken wholeness) for PInchas; the note that the entire generation that left Egypt, apart from Yehoshua and Kelev, died in the wilderness; and, in the law of the musaf offerings for Rosh Chodesh, the sin-offering brought for G!d - which midrash tells is to atone for G!d's embarrassing the moon. A true meditation on brokenness. May we, like the daughters of Tzelafchad, push for a tikkun for the brokenness.